One of the common questions people ask regarding adoption is, “What are the reasons to give your child up for adoption?” The answer is different for every woman. Whether you want to give your baby an amazing life with well-prepared adoptive parents, or you want to continue working toward your own goals before becoming a parent, there are many reasons to place a baby for adoption. We encourage you to speak to one of our professional and trained pregnancy counselors to discuss those potential reasons in more detail.
If you’re a pregnant woman researching your unplanned pregnancy options, we encourage you to consider some of the reasons to place a baby for adoption that other prospective birth mothers have had:
You Love Your Baby and Want the Best for Them.
Most prospective birth mothers have one similar reason for choosing adoption for their baby: unconditional love. As much as it hurts to make this sacrifice, you know that adoption is the best choice for yourself and your baby. It is your love for your child that motivates you to make this decision.
Adopted children know they are loved in their birth mother’s decision, as it is one of the most selfless things you could choose to do.
You Want Your Child to Be Extraordinarily Loved and Given Many Opportunities
This is one of the most common reasons to “give” your baby up for adoption — to give a baby the best opportunities in life, even if it’s with different parents. You might know you want more for your child than you can currently provide (for example, a two-parent household or eventual higher education), so you are choosing to give your child those opportunities with other parents. For many babies placed, adoption is the first step toward a brighter future.
Many hopeful adoptive families turn to adoption because they cannot have a child on their own due to infertility problems. They have likely tried everything they can to no avail. As wonderful as the adoption process is, it is a costly and time-consuming one for adoptive parents, but many are so driven by the desire to have a family and give a child a loving home that these things become inconsequential.
This is a big part of what makes adoption such a brave and compassionate decision. Even though it can be difficult, you are giving your baby the gift of a loving family that can provide them with opportunities that you may not currently be able to, by no fault of your own. And if you so choose, through open adoption, your baby will be lucky enough to have the love of not only their new adoptive parents but their birth parent(s) as well. What could be better than twice the love?
You Want Your Child to Have Two Amazing Parents.
One of the reasons women give children up for adoption is because they’re not in a stable relationship with their baby’s father or don’t know who their baby’s father is. Instead of raising your baby on your own as a single mother, you know that you want them to have a stable, two-parent home full of support. Choosing to raise a child is not just a commitment to becoming a parent; in many cases, it is also a commitment to a relationship and connection with a baby’s father.
Every family that adopts through Hand in Hand Pregnancy and Adoption must complete a home study. The home study thoroughly assesses their lives and relationship to ensure that the relationship is healthy and stable and that they are committed to working together to raise your child.
Unless you want to and are prepared to be a single mother to your baby, you will need the help of your baby’s father, emotionally and financially. Women who do not have a good relationship with their baby’s father likely do not want this permanent connection to keep him in their lives — or even the emotional connection of raising his child. So, instead, you may choose adoption.
You Have a Different Plan for Your Own Life and Future
Unplanned pregnancies come at a time when they are not scheduled in someone’s life. If your plans do not include raising a baby right now, that is a perfectly good reason to choose adoption — a path that can provide you and your child with a brighter future full of more opportunities.
Some prospective birth mothers have plans like furthering their education, advancing in their careers, and even getting married. Raising a child would financially and practically delay many of these plans, which is why adoption could be the right choice for you.
You might also feel that your family is already complete and may already have kids of your own. You may not have the time, energy, or resources to meet the needs of a new baby while also providing the best possible opportunities for the children you are already raising.
In other cases, a woman facing an unplanned pregnancy has no desire to be a mother and simply does not see herself ever becoming a parent — and that is OK too. This can absolutely be a good reason for placing a child for adoption.