One of the common questions people ask regarding adoption is, “What are the reasons to give your child up for adoption?” The answer is different for every woman. Whether you want to give your baby an amazing life with well-prepared adoptive parents, or you want to continue working toward your own goals before becoming a parent, there are many reasons to place a baby for adoption.  We encourage you to speak to one of our professional and trained pregnancy counselors to discuss those potential reasons in more detail.

If  you’re a pregnant woman researching your unplanned pregnancy options, we encourage you to consider some of the reasons to place a baby for adoption that other prospective birth mothers have had:

You Love Your Baby and Want the Best for Them.

Most prospective birth mothers have one similar reason for choosing adoption for their baby: unconditional love. As much as it hurts to make this sacrifice, you know that adoption is the best choice for yourself and your baby. It is your love for your child that motivates you to make this decision.

Adopted children know they are loved in their birth mother’s decision, as it is one of the most selfless things you could choose to do.

You Want Your Child to Be Extraordinarily Loved and Given Many Opportunities

This is one of  the most common reasons to “give” your baby up for adoption — to give a baby the best opportunities in life, even if it’s with different parents. You might know you  want more for your child than you can currently provide (for example, a two-parent household or eventual higher education), so you are choosing to give your child those opportunities with other parents. For many babies placed, adoption is the first step toward a brighter future.

Many hopeful adoptive families turn to adoption because they cannot have a child on their own due to infertility problems. They have likely tried everything they can to no avail. As wonderful as the adoption process is, it is a costly and time-consuming one for adoptive parents, but many are so driven by the desire to have a family and give a child a loving home that these things become inconsequential.

This is a big part of what makes adoption such a brave and compassionate decision. Even though it can be difficult, you are giving your baby the gift of a loving family that can provide them with opportunities that you may not currently be able to, by no fault of your own. And if you so choose, through open adoption, your baby will be lucky enough to have the love of not only their new adoptive parents but their birth parent(s) as well. What could be better than twice the love?

You Want Your Child to Have Two Amazing Parents.

One of the reasons women give children up for adoption is because they’re not in a stable relationship with their baby’s father or don’t know who their baby’s father is. Instead of raising your baby on your own as a single mother, you know that you want them to have a stable, two-parent home full of support. Choosing to raise a child is not just a commitment to becoming a parent; in many cases, it is also a commitment to a relationship and connection with a baby’s father.

Every family that adopts through Hand in Hand Pregnancy and Adoption must complete a home study. The home study thoroughly assesses their lives and relationship to ensure that the relationship is healthy and stable and that they are committed to working together to raise your child.

Unless you want to and are prepared to be a single mother to your baby, you will need the help of your baby’s father, emotionally and financially. Women who do not have a good relationship with their baby’s father likely do not want this permanent connection to keep him in their lives — or even the emotional connection of raising his child. So, instead, you may choose adoption.

You Have a Different Plan for Your Own Life and Future

Unplanned pregnancies come at a time when they are not scheduled in someone’s life. If your plans do not include raising a baby right now, that is a perfectly good reason to choose adoption — a path that can provide you and your child with a brighter future full of more opportunities.

Some prospective birth mothers have plans like furthering their education, advancing in their careers, and even getting married. Raising a child would financially and practically delay many of these plans, which is why adoption could be the right choice for you.

You might also feel that your family is already complete and may already have kids of your own. You may not have the time, energy, or resources to meet the needs of a new baby while also providing the best possible opportunities for the children you are already raising.

In other cases, a woman facing an unplanned pregnancy has no desire to be a mother and simply does not see herself ever becoming a parent — and that is OK too. This can absolutely be a good reason for placing a child for adoption.

You Could Parent This Baby, and Parenting Can be Hard.

Raising a child is expensive; recent estimates put the average cost to raise a child to age 18 at more than $230,000. To raise a child, a person must be prepared to pay for all the expected costs — like clothing, food, and childcare — as well as unexpected costs like medical emergencies. Many women who choose adoption know they would struggle to make financial ends meet and instead place their children with adoptive parents who are more prepared for these costs.

You Want to Feel in Control of Your Situation

When you find yourself unexpectedly pregnant, it may be at a time in your life when all the responsibilities of parenthood are simply too much to take on. You may be completing your education or focusing on your career, or you may feel that you are unprepared at this point in your life to offer everything that you want your child to have. Your reason for putting a child up for adoption may be to find a family who is truly prepared to raise a child.

An unexpected pregnancy can make you feel like your life is out of control. You are facing a challenge you never dreamed you would, and you may not know what to do. You are probably thinking about a lot of options and wondering why people consider adoption. The adoption process allows you to take control of your situation in a way that your other unplanned pregnancy options may not.

With adoption, you are in charge all the way through — from choosing a family for your baby to deciding what kind of contact you want with them to what your hospital stay will look like. This way, you can shape your own future.

You Want to See Your Child Succeed and Thrive Because Of Your Choice.

Many women choose adoption because they want to give their baby the best possible chance at life, and adoption gives them the chance to watch their baby grow up happy and healthy. When you choose adoption, you can choose varying levels of openness in the process, from receiving letters and photos of your child growing up to having a direct, personal relationship with your baby’s adoptive parents.

For many women, this ability to see their child grow up and know that they are safe is one of the major reasons to place a baby for adoption. It also prevents the child from having to wonder, “Why do people get given up for adoption?” In an open adoption, you always have the chance to explain your decision to your child.

You Like the Idea of Giving an Adoptive Family a Child They Could Not Have on Their Own.

At its core, adoption is incredibly selfless and comes from a place of love and compassion. Whether you realize it or not, you are giving your baby and a hopeful adoptive family an amazing gift. You are giving your baby the best life possible and all the opportunities that come with it, while also giving a hopeful adoptive couple a family that they may not have been able to have without you.

The bond that is formed between adoptive families and the birth parents is a special one. They will be grateful for your sacrifice and will dedicate their lives to giving your baby the life they deserve. If you are asking, “Should I put my baby up for adoption?” the pregnancy counselors at Hand in Hand are always available to counsel you through this decision. We will help walk you through your reasons to “give a child up” for adoption, offering you guidance and support.